and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
