Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
