Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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