i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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