I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
