please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I cut my penus on the lid.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
