Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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  (904): my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK. http://tfl.nu/twe7
  Replies (96) Good night (7584) Bad night (939)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.

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  (732): Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night. http://tfl.nu/1hz1
  Replies (13) Good night (3641) Bad night (1147)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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  (815): I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value. http://tfl.nu/83po
  Replies (14) Good night (4690) Bad night (691)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.

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  (973): i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones. http://tfl.nu/f4fy
  Replies (25) Good night (4823) Bad night (768)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...

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  (615): To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels... http://tfl.nu/f4i6
  Replies (7) Good night (3181) Bad night (786)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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  (216): she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm" http://tfl.nu/ofag
  Replies (20) Good night (4637) Bad night (1083)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.

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  (206): Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence. http://tfl.nu/f8os
  Replies (10) Good night (2502) Bad night (932)
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  (949): View more from California

  I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?

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  (949): I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/3tox
  Replies (6) Good night (1908) Bad night (732)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?

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  (201): Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries? http://tfl.nu/cmm3
  Replies (10) Good night (922) Bad night (1251)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?

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  (813): EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order? http://tfl.nu/uphg
  Replies (29) Good night (3829) Bad night (684)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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  (306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq
  Replies (22) Good night (1409) Bad night (673)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats

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  (704): sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats http://tfl.nu/2wgg
  Replies (7) Good night (638) Bad night (1458)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?

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  (712): How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober? http://tfl.nu/4zoo
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (277)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (847): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hvdp
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (351)
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  (916): View more from California

  I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.

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  (916): I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger. http://tfl.nu/3n2g
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (216)

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