i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle