Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.

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  (310): my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet. http://tfl.nu/p26k
  Replies (36) Good night (1173) Bad night (4362)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

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  (540): Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do. http://tfl.nu/lc9b
  Replies (8) Good night (3430) Bad night (768)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here

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  (515): Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here http://tfl.nu/owjx
  Replies (12) Good night (4523) Bad night (522)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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  (303): i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk http://tfl.nu/s9es
  Replies (25) Good night (6041) Bad night (1007)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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  (610): i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition http://tfl.nu/g0ip
  Replies (14) Good night (825) Bad night (4998)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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  (914): I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired. http://tfl.nu/rh17
  Replies (11) Good night (944) Bad night (2700)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.

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  (907): I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex. http://tfl.nu/ckwf
  Replies (9) Good night (2634) Bad night (1283)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

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  (252): Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning http://tfl.nu/yyg5
  Replies (6) Good night (2056) Bad night (1154)
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  (661): View more from California

  I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.

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  (661): I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day. http://tfl.nu/ltd0
  Replies (5) Good night (2041) Bad night (827)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?

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  (780): Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job? http://tfl.nu/b4va
  Replies (7) Good night (649) Bad night (1437)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.

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  (703): we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/tn3b
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (409)
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  (707): View more from California

  Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms

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  (707): Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms http://tfl.nu/5oim
  Replies (9) Good night (416) Bad night (1236)
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  (716): View more from New York

  That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information

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  (716): That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information http://tfl.nu/q7xv
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (317)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk

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  (630): Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk http://tfl.nu/5as6
  Replies (1) Good night (1072) Bad night (364)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.

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  (208): I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/ctp9
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (256)

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