i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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