you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups