The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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