If that was your dad, he is hot
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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