so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
