If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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