are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
