Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
