Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
