Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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