Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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