i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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