Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
tell me about the eggs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
