Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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