I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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