Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize