Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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