You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
