And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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