you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
