I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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