He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
