i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
