I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
