I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
