I'm lost and stupid without you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
