We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
