omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
