singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
