So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
