I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
