i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
