sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
