Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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