And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
