I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
