fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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