and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
