No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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