sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
