she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
