yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Acid is not a monday night drug
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
