Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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