When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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