i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
