it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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