The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
