he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
