love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I could make wine with my vomit
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
