I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
