The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
