Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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