Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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