Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
