I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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