A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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