After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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