girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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