i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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